Hope Lies at 24 Frames Per Second

On The Seventh Art In The Age Of The Digital.

As Bad As It Gets – A Review Of Transformers: Dark Of The Moon

Editor’s NoteA follow-up article appears here. Feel free to check it out once your done with this.

With this, the third part of his Transformers Trilogy, director Michael Bay has surpassed himself. That is to say that he has reached a new low. Clunky, tactless and downright unethical, Transformers; Dark Of The Moon might just be the worst film so far made during the lifetime of Hope Lies at 24 Frames Per Second.

First things first. Transformers; Dark Of The Moon takes place a couple of years follwing the events of its predecessor, The Revenge Of The Fallen. Evil defeated (as per the end of that film), Sam Witwicky finds himself struggling to get by in the regular world, his friends the Autobots having abandoned him for adventures new. Eventually evil once again comes knocking (as per the plot of the previous film), and Witwicky finds himself in a position of interest to witness the next wave of death and destruction from the Decepticons.

For the sake of preventing this from descending in to little more than a one sided rant lets start with the positives. The initial premise is actually genuinely engaging, and in another film would possibly slide nicely in to the pantheon of classic conspiracy cinema greats. The presentation of the “secret” history at the heart of said premise is nice too, with the double prologue detailing the fall of Cybertron and the rise of the American space race effectively conveyed. The 3D is genuinely fantastic too, with the effect even surpassing James Cameron’s Avatar for this viewer. Unfortunately both of these positives falter under the mammoth running time of the film (more on that later though). There’s a solid menagerie of character actors filling in with the supporting roles, with John Malkovich particularly entertaining, with the actor clearly enjoying himself, hamming it up as the narcasistic boss of Witwicky. With Frances MacDormand and series veteran John Turturro also turning in performances, Bay has assembled a cast somewhat resembling that of a Coen feature, but I’m afraid that’s about where the similarities between Transformers; Dark Of The Moon and quality American filmmaking end.

The biggest problem with Transformers: Dark Of The Moon is that its essentially the same film as the two that preceded it, and, in-spite of claiming otherwise, Michael Bay appears to have learnt nothing from the criticism that both of those films, especially the second one, received. While the plot is pretty much a beat-for-beat-on-a-bigger-scale redux of The Revenge Of The Fallen, some of that film’s other issues, notably its portrayal of race and its questionable sense of humour also transfer over. In spite of Bay’s claims otherwise, the “dorky humour” of The Revenge Of The Fallen returns, with the directors assertion that we’d seen the back of Witwicky’s dreaded parents, perhaps the ultimate comedy vacuum of the 21st Century cinema, not ringing true (if anything they actually seem to feature in this film more than prominently than the previous one).

The most damaging issues come with the films representation of politics and race. The character of “Wang”, an Asian-American office lackey turned conspiracy nut is arguably as offensive a stereotype as anything in the derided predecessor. That the character himself is thoroughly unlikeable adds an extra dimension to the level of hate on display, pushing the response to almost meta-levels of hatred. Call me a square, but gay jokes and hemorrhoid gags have no place in the mainstream entertainment of 2011.

And it doesn’t end there. While we will take a look at the films political undertones in a moment, lets not forget some of the other highlights of the film. A robot with a Scottish accent threatens to “bottle” someone, and is seemingly constantly drunk, Megatron visits the UN, and Optimus Prime acts as little more than an exposition-bot, in turn managing to patronise and bore in equal measure. Then there’s Alan Tudyk’s Dutch, a character whose sole reason for being on screen is to be on the receiving end of speculatory remarks about his sexuality. Elsewhere, the worst Russian stereotypes this side of Rocky IV complete the picture. Bay is notorious for his inability to realistically portray anyone who isn’t a white American male, but he’s reached new lows here.

There was potential in the Sam storyline, with the protagonist questioning his place in the world following his saving of the world in the previous two installments of the series. Instead of being merely depressing, Sam’s admission that he “wants to matter” had the possibility to genuinely strike a chord with the series’ aging audience, yet instead it is pushed aside for annoying small robot sidekicks that make dick jokes and ride around on pet dogs. The whole film is riddled with that terrible cheesy humour that killed the tone of the other films, and here it is, striking for a third time. It’s a shame.

As a visual experience its already been mentioned that Dark Of The Moon is largely successful. The 3D is great, as are the effects, which aren’t as visually noisy as the earlier films. Speaking of noise, it would be a surprise if composer Steve Jablonsky comes out of this without a lawsuit from Hans Zimmer and his Inception score (an excellent comparison of the two scores can be found HERE). Alas said score is more aurally friendly than the pair of U2 songs that punctuate the films audio track.

While the scenes of mass distraction are indeed visually impressive, Bay escalates the scale of the previous films without an understanding of how scale actually works. This is not scale in the of the Lord Of The Rings sense, in which Peter Jackson used a huge backdrop to tell a major story, but is more akin to videogame sequel mentality, echoing the ‘increasing difficulty’ structure of that medium in an attempt to push things forward. Quite simply, it doesn’t work. It becomes repetitive and dull, and lacking in emotional attachment. The old adage concerning watching someone else playing a video game has never felt more apt, with the resulting film being a bloated, overlong mess with no sense of danger.

The films ultimate “message” is one of dangerous Right-wing rhetoric. It essentially boils down to “we can’t leave because the baddies will come and get you”, weirdly echoing the dubious US foreign policy of the Bush-era. The America at the heart of Bay’s film are the stereotypical America World Police that protects us all from certain doom. It’s tactless, classless and unethical. And wholly boring. Military porn of the highest order, and apologist supreme for the war on terror, Dark Of The Moon will no doubt have “patriots” cheering in the aisles, while the more discerning of us look on in embarrassment.

Which leads me to my final, most damning point. At one point in the film, Bay evokes the image of the “falling man”, one of the key visual images of the events of 9/11, as a gang of US Army ‘grunts’ skydive across a semi-post-apocalyptic skyline. Crass doesn’t even begin to cover it, with the sequence unforgivable insensitive and a new low for Bay. It’s exploitative nonsense of the highest order, and not at all hyperbolic to suggest that it reaches a level of vile thus far unequalled in the 21st century mainstream cinema.

PLEASE NOTE – If you’re going to take the time to leave a comment, please make sure your claim/point/accusation hasn’t been addressed already.

112 Comments

  1. wait till you get a load of captain america pal.

    • Huh? I love Captain America. Obviously not seen the film, but the Brubaker run is possibly my favourite piece of fictional literature of the last ten years.

      Do you think I’m anti-American?

    • I hate critics these days they all just seem to slag off the movies cant you see it for wat its ment to do entertain people with big explosions and great action come on the story is better the problem is you slag off films like these to the point you try to take these films to seriously chill out mr movie critic the 3d is amazing the best ive seen in a film transformers is not ment to be great story plots because its based on a fuking cartoon about living robots like that can happen in real life i grew up watching transformer in the 80s so i really enjoyed these movies

  2. What a terrible review.

    • You’re right, the film was terrible.

      • Terrible, uh, I do not think so. The movie was great, at the end the whole theater clapped and cheered. People who have nothing good to say about this move don’t like to be taken on a ride, instead they have nothing better to do them condemn what they themselves cannot do. Just to prove people like you have no clue, look at titanic, Avatar, both movies very bad review, but you know what, people do not listen and went to see them. Transformer 3 takes you on a wonderful ride and leaves your mind spent by the end. In my book the movie did its job. I am sick and tired of people giving bad reviews to movies because all they do is watch to criticize instead and just watching to enjoy. In every movie there are always things we as movie goers want to see, but just because we don’t all get what we want doesn’t mean we have to give it a bad name. Look at it this way, Transformers 1 and 2 made more money than the harry potter movies that came out at the same time. This third installment by the end will most likely finish between 500 and 750 million, much like the other films that also got bad reviews they did well. Unless you have the experience, money and resources to do better, I say shut up and enjoy, life is too short to review every aspect of life. This was a great movie and I will see it at least twice more before it leaves theaters. If you don’t like the movie then go watch something else and try to enjoy that, it you can manage to actually watch a movie without being so dam analytical. Enjoy a movie like this, the ride is amazing.

        • Terrible, uh, I do not think so. The movie was great, at the end the whole theater clapped and cheered.

          A cinema full of morons cheering and clapping means nothing. Try express yourself with words, instead of howls and banging. Shame on you.

          People who have nothing good to say about this move don’t like to be taken on a ride, instead they have nothing better to do them condemn what they themselves cannot do. Just to prove people like you have no clue, look at titanic, Avatar, both movies very bad review, but you know what, people do not listen and went to see them.

          I liked Titanic. So did most critics. It has a score of 83% on Rotten Tomatoes. Likewise with Avatar, which also has a RT score of 83%. Ever thought of doing some research before typing something that isn’t true?

          I am sick and tired of people giving bad reviews to movies because all they do is watch to criticize instead and just watching to enjoy.

          Not true at all. This is only the second blockbuster this summer that I’ve given a negative review to. I gave Thor and X-Men positive reviews, and even enjoyed Green Lantern.

          Look at it this way, Transformers 1 and 2 made more money than the harry potter movies that came out at the same time. This third installment by the end will most likely finish between 500 and 750 million, much like the other films that also got bad reviews they did well.

          How on Earth is money a measure of success? And what on earth does Harry Potter have to do with anything?

          Unless you have the experience, money and resources to do better, I say shut up and enjoy, life is too short to review every aspect of life.

          I don’t review “every aspect of life”. I review films. The website you’ve just typed that comment on ought to be a bit of a giveaway.

          This was a great movie and I will see it at least twice more before it leaves theaters.

          Stan Collymore said it best – “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

          Congratulations, its idiots like you that ensure that Hollywood will keep on churning out shitty movies. I hope you’re proud.

          If you don’t like the movie then go watch something else and try to enjoy that, it you can manage to actually watch a movie without being so dam analytical. Enjoy a movie like this, the ride is amazing.

          I review lots of different types of films. For some reason I don’t know how they’re going to pan out before I’ve seen them. Funny that.

          • I’ve avoided commenting until now because I haven’t seen the movie yet and don’t want to pre-judge, but since we’re getting into a situation where someone is spouting “facts” that are wrong, I’ll wade in.

            Yes, Transformers and Transformers 2 made more money IN AMERICA than the respective Harry Potter films released at the same time, but worldwide Harry Potter outstripped Transformers both times.

            From boxofficemojo:

            Transformers Worldwide Gross: $709,709,780
            Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Worldwide Gross: $938,212,738

            Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Worldwide Gross: $836,297,228
            Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince Worlwide Gross: $933,959,197

            Obviously, financial success is no indicator of artistic merit, but IF you’re going to make that argument you might as well know what you’re talking about.

          • The fact that you don’t like this movie is pretty embarrassing. I don’t understand what else you want from an action movie. If you are looking for some sort of movie with deep emotional undertones that make girls cry and want you to put your arm around them then watch a stupid movie like The Notebook. This is an action movie, people watch them to be entertained and there aren’t very many things more entertaining than top of the line special effects combined with a great storyline, slapstick humor, and celebrities that are easy on the eyes. If you went into this movie with any expectations of it being not centered around action then you watched this film under false pretenses. This movie was phenomenal, it thrilled the audience and provided an entertaining moviegoing experience. By not liking this movie you have already proven that you have no clue what makes a good movie and quite frankly would be a terrible person to watch a movie with. I feel sorry for you for spending 2.5 hours of your life scrutinizing and bashing a quality movie when you should have been appreciating the spectacle of the film as a whole. If this movie didn’t impress you then have fun never enjoying a movie for the rest of your life.

      • i would love to see you make a better film somehow dont think you could make better sfx scenes than this

  3. Steve Jablonsky was Hans Zimmer’s student, you jackass.

    • And that gives him the right to copy the Inception score because?

      Apologies for having to edit the latter half of your comment, but we don’t really condone such aggressive language on here. Plus, it made you look a little silly.

      • Ah, apologies, great blog btw, keep up the great work.

      • I thought the first half of the review was well-written and then you went off on the political tangent. It’s a shame the producers/Bay refuse to dump this dorky humor and can’t tell the story without the silliness. Audiences, even teenagers, can enjoy movies without **** and fart jokes.

        • Thanks for the reasonable response Bud. I do lean politically in my summation, and appreciate that that can be my undoing at times!

          • adambatty, you are being trolled quite terribly, and when you see the high rate of adoption for T3 and similar films, I suppose you cannot help but expect it.
            This film has had massive advertising. It has been reviewed by pretty much every reviewer you can find. It has global reach.
            A large amount of the american populace, especially teenagers, have travelled to the cinema to watch this. People continue to watch this film. Therefore it could be argued that the american populace enjoyed watching this film and were not repelled by the ideals it portrayed quite heavily. bensgoog@gmail.com if you would like to argue this.
            The film literally opens at the location of an “illegal uranium enrichment site, Middle East.”
            Near the end, with an american flag burning, we are told that even with our allies turning their backs on us, the angelic autobots will continue the fight against the deceptions.
            The protagonists are generally indestructible.
            The female lead creature is such a collection of disparate attractive features, I wonder how much CGI was involved with her face. She resembles what I can only imagine as a personified goddess of porn and teenage reminisces (with a british accent. And money. And a Gullwing. How I wish the Gullwing had dismembered her).
            Make of these points what you will. Personally when I saw this film, I saw an excuse for a generation of americans to join the military complex and shoot deceptors..people with red eyes aiming to enslave the american nation….sorry terrorists.
            I also saw this beamed around the world in a sort of orgy of self-congratulation.
            I am an english man, T3 was my first experience of a drive-in, in Canada. I saw many cars leave early. Frankly, it almost ruined my night. We had to move to the back seats where I only suffered glimpses of the last 30 minutes. Gloating aside, the propaganda these films spout make me hope than when I travel america I don’t see a majority of people who would clap and cheer and whoop along, else I loose respect and hope for America, hope for it ever being considered other than a parasitic, resource snatching imperialist hypocrite, devoid of honour or at least the collective nous to reject these badly spun morality corruption’s. I believe the american people are great. But give me a gun and I WILL shoot Micheal Bay.

        • 1. Hans Zimmer worked on this and the other films, he just doesn’t contribute enough to have a name credit.

          2. audiences can enjoy a film without silly humor, but on the other hand they can enjoy one with silly humor like say The hangover movies. For the life of me I can never understand why critics hold bay to this high regard in his adaptation of an 80′s toy commercial yet give a pass on a movie with a silly take on date rape drugs and the value of marriage in the south west…Why is there never a word about the “racism” in those movies but but two colorless robots that act in a way some suspect people find black is the most vile act ever to be put on film?

          3. Why is it the minute bay has a minority act silly it’s racist? Are only white actors allowed to be the “gag man”
          just curious.

          • Thanks for that.

            1. Thanks for clarifying. I still don’t think that gives anyone the right to lift the Inception score in such an obvious manner.

            2. I don’t want to head down the “Twins” route. I respect your opinion, but they were fairly crass creatures.

            3. The big complaint that I’ve often heard rolled out with Bay is that its only ever the minority figure that is the figure of ridicule.

  4. Seems like a good review to me. Even if I don’t agree with everything said, both good and bad points are covered and all points addressed are relevant. Plus, he didn’t overextend the wording of his review to the point that it was condascending to those who may like the movie.

    I may or may not agree with the viewpoint expressed (obviously haven’t seen the movie yet), but the review itself is fine. He stated he didn’t like the movie, then stated the reasons why he disliked the movie, but still highlighted the good points so that people can get an idea of what the movie is like overall. What more can you ask for?

    I hate to say this, but regardless of what scores the movie recieves I’ll see it no matter what, despite the fact I despised the second film. The mere concept of giant robots duking it out is too tempting for me to pass up. I’ll probably regret it, but oh well.

    • Thanks Max. I would never want to influence your decision to see a film, nor would I ever expect to! If you get chance pop back and let me know your thoughts when you’ve seen the film.

  5. Can’t say I was ever expecting anything else to tell the truth. These films are such cash cows that they’re going to continue to get made regardless of critical opinion, and the sheer amount of trolls that seem to be defending it so staunchly before even seeing the damn thing proves that that market isn’t going anywhere soon.

    The visuals do look pretty impressive, but that alone isn’t going to get me to go see it. Nice review, stand by it.

  6. Probably the most accurate review I’ve read all year. This is a poorly written, noisy, over the top, over done piece of Hollywood rubbish which manages to surpass the other two in terms of how poor it is. Oh and I’ve failed to mention the parents… Don’t get me started. On a positive note though great review, keep up the good work.

  7. I’m so glad I can think for myself.

    How I don’t think: “Robots aren’t real, so I go into a movie about alien robots already expecting it to suck to the point where nothing I see could possibly change my mind.”

    Definitely don’t think that way.

  8. I am shocked to learn that the third Transformers film sucks. Shocked I tell you! If you disliked the first two, and STILL pay to see this one, then you are a fool.

    • Carl Copeland

      June 27, 2011 at 8:49 am

      He runs a movie website it would grossly hypocritical not to see a film just because he didn’t enjoy the first two installments. He’s gone in with an open mind and like he and I expected it’s a load of bollocks. Do you think empire magazine wouldn’t see if they didn’t like the first two…

  9. Great review Adam

    You pretty much summed up my thoughts on the previous movies: lot’s of potential for great sci-fi story telling and drama, but constantly let down by the idiotic crass humour and the embarassing TEAM AMERICA attitude from Bay. The robots really create no emotional attatchment at all, they focus so hard on Optimus and Bumblebee yet they feel so wooden and stiff and the others are non existant and barely matter in terms of the story.

    Ironically the only characters who do have potential, are Megatron and Starscream in my opnion. They had so much opportunity to explore Megatron’s subplot, determined to save his home planet no matter the cost, to create a more morally complex and thought provoking “grey area” in the story. But instead we see them relegated to vanilla hollywood bad guys leading an army of nameless insectiod grunts who go down like bowling pins to good ol’ fashion American firepower.

    Disappoinitng after 2 movies and Bay telling everybody this one “would be different” it’s just more of the same crap.

  10. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhnUgAaea4M

    Man oh Man. Such a hate spewing Liberal. As a former Marine Corps sniper, I’ve collected plenty of Souvenirs from over seas while defending this country(a piece of ear, a couple fingers, fun stuff like that), and I always pretend they belong to weak Un-American Left wing nuts like you!

  11. Scott Calandra

    June 27, 2011 at 4:58 am

    What a hater, does the reviewer know how to use spell and grammar check? what an idiot, i can’t believe I wasted 3 minutes reading this piece of crap review.

  12. Thanks for the review. Unlike some of these comments, I think political undertones are very important to point out. It’s propaganda dressed as entertainment. I like Transformers (the idea), but I fucking hate the racist and political shit they shove down our throats. Wang? That motherfucker had over 50 last names to choose from and he picks Wang. Fucking bastard. It’s like naming a white character Captain Cracker. And this follows a film with racist black bots. Screw Bay. Jeong should be ashamed of himself.

    • I have to agree that socio-political over(or under)tones cannot be ignored. The most dangerous thing to society is how really crass, apathy inducing, dominant ideology reinforcing stereotypes and narrative building is often dismissed as ‘just entertainment’.
      For one, it isn’t just entertainment, it has a massively influential capacity and forms the balance of cultural power in society.
      For two, these things are not essential for creating mainstream, accessible films. Many large Hollywood films manage to strike a safe balance of recognisable stock characters, yet without reducing them to idiotic assumptions.
      I am obviously not commenting specifically about this film as I haven’t seen it and will make my own mind up when I do, but it does not surprise me and this approach completely undermines so many Hollywood Blockbusters that bring us fantastically spectacular (ridiculous even) films that manage to entertain without being offensively, ideologically regressive.
      Twitter: @destroyapathy

    • Alexander Frost

      June 27, 2011 at 9:25 pm

      Um, why should Jeong be ashamed of himself? I think the fact that he portrayed a supposedly stereotypical character named “Wang” is cool. It shows that he is above those that have to make everything into a racist or political thing. I’ve been in extremely diverse schools and groups since I was 5, and all of us group up letting racist jokes just slide off of us because we are mature enough to not let little things like that bother us. The fact that people “see political undertones” in everything, and label entertainment as “propaganda” were clearly LOOKING for it in the film. I’ve been a very enthusiastic movie-goer for over a decade, and not ONCE have I gone into a film looking for meaningless crap like that. Do yourself a favor: if you hate the fact that there is political propaganda in every film, stay home and chat with other politically-driven pessimists in your little chat rooms and blogs.

      • It’s not a case of going “into a film looking for meaningless crap like” politics and issues of race, but its hard to ignore when its explicitly placed in front of you on screen. Of course, some people are oblivious/ignorant/racist/homophobic themselves, so either don’t notice it, or don’t care.

        • I don’t consider myself to be oblivious, ignorant or any of the other descriptions you have listed for people, but still don’t necessarily mind the humor (jokes) and political “messages.”

          I watch many movies and have no problem with humor in movies whether it be “silly humor” or not. If someone makes a joke about someones sexual orientation then whatever. I don’t see why it has to be pointed out so critically, why can’t it just be what is intended to be… A Joke! If you like it great if not then don’t let it bother you. Same goes for the political views or scenes in a movie. If you disagree with them then let it go.

          People shouldn’t be watching movies and whining about something a “right wing” person did in it. Movies for the most part are fictional especially this one so why complain about a simple joke, political style or the make believe “racial undertones.” It is a MOVIE not a political battle!!!

          • I don’t consider myself to be oblivious, ignorant or any of the other descriptions you have listed for people, but still don’t necessarily mind the humor (jokes) and political “messages.”

            One of the defining problems with being “oblivious” or “ignorant” is that you don’t know that you are suffering from those particular malfunctions.

            I watch many movies and have no problem with humor in movies whether it be “silly humor” or not. If someone makes a joke about someones sexual orientation then whatever. I don’t see why it has to be pointed out so critically, why can’t it just be what is intended to be… A Joke! If you like it great if not then don’t let it bother you. Same goes for the political views or scenes in a movie. If you disagree with them then let it go.

            Good for you. The normalisation of racism and homophobic bullying in mainstream media is something that grates with some of us tho. I’m glad you dig racist jokes tho.

            People shouldn’t be watching movies and whining about something a “right wing” person did in it. Movies for the most part are fictional especially this one so why complain about a simple joke, political style or the make believe “racial undertones.” It is a MOVIE not a political battle!!!

            I’m not “whining”; I’m evaluating the film based on its merits and problems (Note the near unanimously universal praise of the third paragraph). Its my job to do this. If you have a problem with that then I suggest you skip this “film criticism” lark altogether and do something more befitting your attitude towards personal expression.

  13. Despite the review I still want to see it!!!

  14. The thing about Bay is that his jingoism is so overt that anyone with half a brain (and not the kind lying around in a drawer full of souvenirs) can happily ignore him as a shrieking neocon mentalist.

    The problem is that just about every other Hollywood blockbuster is also Pentagon-backed propaganda. This book – http://www.plutobooks.com/display.asp?K=9780745329826& – is worth a read to realise that Bay’s chest-beating is something of a blessing.

    • Apparently he *isn’t* a right wing nutjob tho!? He just pretends to be so that he can have access to military tech. At least thats what the apologists fans will have you believe.

  15. Adam, I’m calling shenanigans on that one. Bay introduced the redneck hero of Armageddon by having him fire golf balls off an oil rig at a Greenpeace protest boat. Did he really do that so the Air Force would cough up for a couple of fighter jets?

  16. I was gonna put you down and yell at my computer screen, but i won’t ’cause there are better reviews that this for the movie. And THE sole purpose of this movie was an attempt to revolutionize 3D filming, not to focus on the acting. And the majority of all people will enjoy the “racist” and “gay” jokes, just take my word for it. I live in a place where racist and gay jokes are in abundance and we get used to laughing at them. In the world of today don’t think of movies as the actual personality of the directors.

    • And don’t make fun of my picture!!!

      • “The scale, the action even the humor have been raised to a level that surpasses not just the sequel but the first film too, without doubt they saved the best till last.” The Sun

        • The Sun? Are you seriously backing up your point with The Sun? The “Freddie Starr Ate My Hamster” Sun?

        • Carl Copeland

          June 27, 2011 at 5:35 pm

          There are plenty of excellent action films which don’t rely on crude and tasteless humour to salvage a movie. What I find most disturbing Transformers is a franchise spawned from a children’s cartoon and thus has a very young following including my own younger brother. But the over sexualised shooting approach adopted by Bay can only be a money spinner and not to give any form of stylistic credibility to the film itself. This is primary problem with the franchise IMO. The film has a lot of potential to have the same fun as say a Spielberg or a Cameron action pic without the need for racist, sexist or any other sordid under pinnings. Oh please never quote anything from that horrible paper again please.

    • So just because a certain section of society find gay jokes and racist crap acceptable it means its okay to put them on screen? Are you being serious?

      • “And THE sole purpose of this movie was an attempt to revolutionize 3D filming, not to focus on the acting. And the majority of all people will enjoy the “racist” and “gay” jokes, just take my word for it.”

        The single best comment I have ever read. The IQ of your readership just plummeted off the dark side of the moon.

    • I haven’t seen the film, nor do I have to do so in order to tell you you’re wrong. Gay or racist jokes aren’t acceptable because the majority of people enjoy them, by that logic (sorry for such a crude example) gang rape would be acceptable.

      All I can say is i’m glad I don’t live in this place you do where racism and homophobia are acceptable.

      • Alexander Frost

        June 27, 2011 at 9:33 pm

        Its not that its acceptable, its just that SOME of us are capable of weeding out comments that are for fun, and those that are truly intended to be hurtful. I’ve always been in very diverse schools with friends of many religions and cultures. We grew up slinging racist jokes at each other for fun, and we are mature enough to tell the difference between a joke and truly malicious comments against us. I have plenty of homosexual friends as well, and we all playfully make jokes to each other like that as well. The problem with American movie-goers today is that you guys can’t tell the difference between stereotypical jokes and genuine racism. As for your “by that logic, gang rape would be acceptable”, that’s complete BS. Way to not think about a better analogy. There is a huge difference between comments and actually committing violent acts against another human being. I have a friend that was attacked in a similar manner, and I must say that was honestly the only thing on this page that I found truly offensive. Think before you post.

        • A couple of points; 1. I’m not an “American movie-goer”, I’m from the UK, and 2. The “gang rape” comment that you’ve taken offence to was actually written in reaction to another comment, not the film. It was concerning Salman Sufi’s remarks that homophobic comments and racist jokes were okay because he found them funny. Also, it wasn’t actually written by me, but another visitor (“Jamie”)

  17. I like to keep trophies of bad films I’ve seen over the years. An ear here and finger there, I just like to think they’re all un-american, commie lovin, gay worshipping blah,blah,blah…

  18. I tweeted the author earlier regarding this, but feel it appropriate for it to join the discussion. The fact that people are jumping to the defence of a film they haven’t even seen (particularly in order to defend their ‘right’ to be racist and homophobic) only serves to prove the author right in his assertion during the review:. “Dark Of The Moon will no doubt have patriots cheering in the aisles, while the more discerning of us look on in embarrassment.”

    Well to make one tiny amendment to that; I will change ‘patriots’ (dictionary.com: a person who loves, supports, and defends his or her country and its interests with devotion) to ‘chauvinist’ (Dictionary.com: zealous and aggressive patriotism or blind enthusiasm for military glory). I think the term blind enthusiasm is pretty apt.

    As for the idea that some racism and homophobia is fine, whereas some takes it too far, is precisely the kind of social situation that makes it acceptable for that type of behaviour to continue incessantly. If anything, it is the relentless concession that such activity is ‘OK’ that regresses society and maintains the dominant ideology’s suppression of any level of difference. More damaging than these acts that are apparently deemed beyond some imaginary line of acceptance.
    Twitter: @destroyapathy

  19. I would like the name Dude Where’s my Auteur better, hopeliess is just a bit too drab. You mustn’t take yourself so serious, relax enjoy a soft drink and some popcorn, or if you prefer maybe you would prefer an Hors d’œuvre and some wine. In regards to racist jokes, lighten up, the parody was wannabe gangsters. I’m not surprised you dislike these films, your elitism cred takes a hit when you admit you enjoy in the elite world of the so-called lowbrow films.

    • Thanks for the comment.

      Again, elitism doesn’t really come into it. We gave Green Lantern a positive review two weeks ago. We gave X-Men: First Class a positive review 3 weeks back. We gave Thor a positive review 6 weeks back. I love blockbusters, when done well, but this was just poor.

      A worrying number of people seem to be “okay” with racism when its done by people like Bay. Its not okay. Its wrong. Its bad.

      • The real honest truth about this film is that a bunch of man children, who still collect these toys, and hold the cartoon up as some great piece of late 20th century art, cannot accept just how empty the franchise they have built their lives around really is, and resort to silly attacks.

        The Transformer movie trilogy is nearly 8 hours long. For that same length of time you could watch an entire season of the cartoon. If it is just a movie about robots blowing up, then why does it need to be two and a half hours?

        The cartoon movie had lots of robots (and planets) blowing up, and did it all in under 90 minutes. Bay and Co. want you to care about the humans. So if that bit of the film doesn’t work then it is a major failing.

        • The problem with this criticism of the critics is that even most Transformers fans, of which I am one, don’t particularly care for the Michael Bay films. I don’t collect the toys, but I have the entire series on dvd and the entire run of the comics in my closet. It’s a silly franchise, but there are moments of legitimate wonder and storytelling in there. At least to me. Most people would roll their eyes at it and walk away, which I fully understand and do not criticize. As a Transformers fanboy, reviews like this aren’t the insult, but rather the interpretation Bay himself has made of this property which I have legitimate nostalgia for.

          The people criticizing Adam here are not Transformers fans. They may love this specific series of films (the Bayformers fandom), but I doubt that love carries over to the classic show, the comics, or even the figures. They like it because it’s Michael Bay. Because it’s explosions and getting the hot chick and lets laugh at the mouthy black man and American flags and pissing & farting robots and “F— yeah!” empty heroics.

          Some of the critcisms made against Adam have been vile and mark their makers as the lesser slugs that they are, but don’t make the mistake of thinking they represent “man children who still collect these toys”. In order to collect the toys, we need to maintain an income, and that requires us to have a shred of lives that these others do not. :)

          • Actully my “man children” comment was aimed squarely at the ones sending death threats – and having looked around the internets and comments about this review it does appear those who are ANGRY are in this bracket.

            With regard to the animated series – it was fun when I was a kid, but I wouldn’t want to revisit them. The Movie is still a laugh with a group of friends. But the series in any of its forms was never great art.

    • I don’t understand why objecting to the normalisation of racism means that I’m taking myself too seriously. Nor do I see why thinking about things means that I cannot relax. I am perfectly capable of relaxing, enjoying a soft drink and some popcorn (I don’t even know what Hors d’œuvre is) yet still being able to use my brain and think about what it is that I am seeing. I don’t have to stop enjoying things; this isn’t taxing, it’s being aware of what is going on.

      I also don’t see how my comment, in any way, implied that I don’t like what you have termed ‘lowbrow’ films or that I am elitist. I wasn’t even making that comment with reference to this film, which I admitted earlier I haven’t even seen yet. It was merely in response to the sheer amount of people who can quite easily defend casual racism and homophobia. Now remember also that like me, they haven’t even seen the film and are therefore defending, merely the hypothetical right to be ‘a little bit’ racist.

  20. A comprehensive review and I appreciate your comments. I’d say the Transformers films appeal to the more carnal, animal side of the intended audience (men); one side of the “being human” coin, the other being cerebral. I will probably see this film for that very reason. It’s true that Michael Bay has zero tact and that parents should be extremely careful about bringing their children to a movie like this.

    I think the most unfortunate part about these movies is they are PG-13 — teenagers are not only impressionable but capable of grasping the prejudices and biases in the “meta level” behind the script. I suppose the more cerebral films that I am sure the reviewer appreciates are ultimately lost on younger audiences.

    I’ll update later after seeing with more thoughts.

  21. Bigdaddy2567248

    June 29, 2011 at 12:19 am

    Would you have said anything if the political undertone was leaning to the left?
    Avatar was the biggest politically charged movie I have ever seen. If you are offended by any of the humor in the movie then you shouldn’t see it. Movies in general should have political undertones at all there is no need for them to shove anything down our throats when we go to movies to be entertained and escape from reality.

    • Thanks for the comment.

      Of course I would have mentioned any left leaning political undertones.

      Re-The Humour; How does one judge a films humour before seeing it? I won’t watch it again, if thats any comfort.

      While I don’t agree that films shouldn’t have political undertones (of course they should), I’m hardly to blame for the fact that Transformers 3 has them. That complaint my friend, should be levelled at Mr. Bay.

  22. Pathetic review, are you serious?

  23. Does anyone at all realize that this movie was made to entertain? There was no hidden innuendo. Theres no hidden conspiracy. It was not made for the sole purpose to offend. It was created to purely entertain. Movies relieve you from your current life and take you into a world where alien robots exist and the world is threatened by evil and the good guys always prevail. Its a MOVIE, reality is supposed to take second place. If you want reality watch TV, that’s all they play now. Summer blockbusters are meant to be noisy. Action films always carry comic relief. And the main character always gets the girl at the end. Its been that way for years and it continues that way because it works. I just came out of the theatre and I have to say Bay delivers. The visuals are amazing, the plot is a lot more developed than the previous two films, the acting hasn’t changed, and if you’re a fan of the franchise this movie WILL NOT disappoint.

    • Does anyone at all realize that this movie was made to entertain?

      It wasn’t entertaining tho. Thats been the biggest complaint aired about the film. Apologists like yourself only make things worse, because they’re telling the powers that be that its okay to produce trash like this.

      There was no hidden innuendo. Theres no hidden conspiracy. It was not made for the sole purpose to offend. It was created to purely entertain.

      Yes there was, it was hidden, so you couldn’t see it. Bay is well known for sticking commentary in to his films, see the “greenpeace” comment further up.

      Movies relieve you from your current life and take you into a world where alien robots exist and the world is threatened by evil and the good guys always prevail. Its a MOVIE, reality is supposed to take second place.

      That doesn’t mean that it has to be a crappy film in the process tho.

      I just came out of the theatre and I have to say Bay delivers. The visuals are amazing, the plot is a lot more developed than the previous two films, the acting hasn’t changed, and if you’re a fan of the franchise this movie WILL NOT disappoint.

      Well I’m pleased that you enjoyed it (really I am), and while I wouldn’t disagree on the visuals, the claim about the plot being more developed than the films predecessor is hardly high praise. A stroll to buy bread has more plot development than Revenge Of The Fallen. The acting not changing is hardly cause for celebration either, given that the acting has always been terrible in these films. Plenty of fans of the series have seemingly been disappointed by this film, just as they were the second one.

  24. You are drawing comparisons that make no sense at all. Are you saying it is tacless and crass to portray any kind of a falling man in any kind of urban setting? Are you implying that Bay intentionally crafted the scene to resemble ‘the falling man’? Your ability to get offended on the behalf of others is laughably overdeveloped.

    You seem to be missing the point of Transformers. You don’t ‘get’ this kind of movie, because you think of yourself as so highly intelectual that you would overthink even an episode of Dore the Explorer on cartoon network and draw the same meaningless comparisons. The point that has always made this franchise interesting, in comics and cartoons before these movies alike: Giant robots beating the crap out of eachother.

    Yes, it’s military porn. That’s the whole point. The overly cheezy humor aside, that is what this movie was made for. It’s too bad that you can’t appreciate it for it is, instead choosing to berate it for being too crass for your ridiculous sensibilities.

    • You are drawing comparisons that make no sense at all. Are you saying it is tacless and crass to portray any kind of a falling man in any kind of urban setting? Are you implying that Bay intentionally crafted the scene to resemble ‘the falling man’? Your ability to get offended on the behalf of others is laughably overdeveloped.

      I’m not really implying anything, but am suggesting that the shot (not the whole scene) resembles The Falling Man. One shot. One nasty, lingering shot. Thats what I saw when I watched the film. Whats difficult to understand about that?

      You seem to be missing the point of Transformers. You don’t ‘get’ this kind of movie, because you think of yourself as so highly intelectual that you would overthink even an episode of Dore the Explorer on cartoon network and draw the same meaningless comparisons. The point that has always made this franchise interesting, in comics and cartoons before these movies alike: Giant robots beating the crap out of eachother.

      Oh, the “you seem to be missing the point and over-analysing the film” excuse. Funny how people don’t complain when positive acclaim of subtext is brought up (a.l.a District 9, Close Encounters Of The Third Kind. The Dark Knight). This was a poor film. Simple as that.

      Yes, it’s military porn. That’s the whole point. The overly cheezy humor aside, that is what this movie was made for. It’s too bad that you can’t appreciate it for it is, instead choosing to berate it for being too crass for your ridiculous sensibilities.

      I apologise for not being able to enjoy it for what it is (a dull, overlong film with a nasty streak of racism and homophobia). Glad you got a kick out of it tho.

      • I bet you think that this review is actually good but it’s not. a review actually talks about the film in some detail but this is nothing more than a rant that projects you opinion. And btw you contradicted yourself. Yes you are in fact implying throughout this “review”

    • “you would overthink even an episode of Dore [sic] the Explorer on cartoon network and draw the same meaningless comparison”

      Your whole argument for me is backwards. The more normalised the subtext is (and it exists in EVERYTHING) then the more dangerous, or at least worthy of scrutiny it is, rather than the opposite as you imply. So to bring up a show like Dora is important. It is mind-achingly annoying, but I appreciate it does have some educational merit. Most children’s entertainment is expected to be didactic, so a priory it has children in a frame of mind which ensures they are receptive to what is being shown. Well, in fact I would argue that children are always in this state, they are much more intelligent than most adults that have learned to seal off the mind from free thinking or the ability to form their own opinions.

      Dora, in particular, is explicit in one dimension of social commentary: it has completely normalised the sight of a young Latin American (which is a great thing) and therefore is massively culturally significant and is an important comment on the changing socio-cultural landscape of North America.

      Having a four year old boy, I see a lot of children’s TV and to imply that it doesn’t influence a child’s outlook on the world is ludicrous.

      This brings me onto the more general point then of political subtext. You claim that not all things are intentionally infused with subtext, and Adam’s reply deals with the fact that Bay arguably does. Well a much greater issue than this is that EVERYTHING has subtext; everything is political because everything forms opinion. So it isn’t even an issue of whether there are comments intentionally made.

      A brief aside, but worth mentioning whilst on the subject, the above is this reason that makes CBeebies such a deservedly celebrated entity. It is by far, from what I have seen, one of the only children’s TV creators in the world that understands its responsibility and therefore most fairly and carefully portrays the world

      P.S. I love big, loud, crashing, walloping blockbuster films! Just thought that was worth mentioning
      Twitter: @destroyapathy

  25. Is no-one realizing that Bay made a huge error in the plot of the story?! Transformers have been around for decades and have always been portrayed as a certain storyline. Notice; Soundwave never dies in any previous series.. he is always a puss and runs away from the battle before being killed. And yet Bay portrays him as being killed in this film which does not line up with the Transformers storyline. Forget Sam and that bad actress. Forget the visuals. Think about the story of Transformers. In my opinion, Bay really did horrible in keeping the storyline straight. It seems as though he only cares about the cash hes going to rake-in because of his cheap jokes for laughs and box office pay-offs. I am a long-time viewer and follower of everything transformers and have to say I find myself pleased with the film but disappointed that he messed up the story in such a significant way!

    • I think Bay is less concerned with the story, and more concerned with making things blow up in interesting and ambitious ways. It’s a shame he’s screwed up a story which you love, here’s hoping someone treats it with the respect you feel its due sometime in the future. Thanks for the comment.

  26. Just saw the movie.
    I was surprised actually, in both ways. As for the franchise, the film lines up with the first one. As a movie in general, it falls apart, as usual for Michael Bay’s films.
    Hate the humor, hate the political flaws. I only loved the brain-killing action which was the only thing I was expecting from the film. The second one had some CGI flaws in it (reduced framerate in order to save money = the result is a choppy moving robot on the screen, pretty cheap and looks childish), this one… Well, I didn’t notice any of that, the effects were brilliant. It felt just like if I was playing Mass Effect.

    Although I really wanted to edit-out the crappy humor parts from the second film and watch it again for my viewing pleasure, I decided not to, as I have a crappy pc. I’d gladly do it to this sequel as well, but I’m just not up to it… Why oh why did they have to add an another stupid unnecessary character which influenced the plotline (brains)? It’s really sad when everything goes oh-like-so-cool-and-sci-fi and then you get a 20 second shot of a crappy child robot joke. Completely out of place. Ruined everything for me. Oh yes, and not to mention the USA’s flag behind bumblebee at the end of the movie. That was so gross – not because I hate America, which I don’t, but because I was mind-raped again by a cheap move in Hollywood’s movie industry, in a political way.

    As for the soundtrack – an exact quote by me during the film, talking to a friend: “Inception?”
    Although I liked what Jablonsky did with the rest of the score, it was kind of epic, pretty much the thing I’d listen to,except the Inception score, heh.

    Your review sums up pretty much all of it, in a great way. Thanks for posting this, I was googling after the film and found out about this site, seems decent ;) I had many similar thoughts in my head while reading your critique.

    • Thanks for the kind words Marti.

      • I’d like to add to it, that TF3 is actually a film I’d watch on a dark sunday evening. Good for showing off your 5.1 home cinema, hehe.
        Actually, when you look at these movies in a way you should see them (like, you must be blind or pop-out your eyes and stuff) it’s actually pretty good. As for myself, I have never expected a movie about giant robots saving the Earth to be good, lol. I did not grow up with the Transformers series on my TV’s first channel, so maybe the fans could say better, but for what it is it lived up to my expectations. The problem with me is that I try to filter all of the movies I see with the so called ‘critic-sense’, resulting in not enjoying it at all. Let’s admit it – TF films were never intended to be viewed by critics who’d spoil even a great film. So when you take it for what it is it’s really rewarding as for what it claims to be. Also, let’s not forget that this is a Hollywood movie, saturated by the ‘all-hail-america’ slow-mo moments and cheesy endings. That’s the only thing I hate about it even when watching it ‘for what it is’ and this ruins it for me in every possible way. The lowest low that I can take is a mind-dumbing action flick, but the meant-to-be-funny scenes and the vomit-enforcing political views expressed in the movie are just more than a disaster. Hell yeah, now I’m afraid of watching Captain America. That film should have been released years ago when there was no hype about Hollywood being the home of crappy productions (most of the time, sadly). There’s no place for more of that in the 21st century, IMO.
        Anyway, let’s go back to the topic…
        I really wanted to do it. Fire up some movie editing program, delete all the joke parts and america flags from it and you’ve got yourself a film that you could rate by at least 0.5 more on imdb. For personal viewing, of course. But the feeling that Michael Bay is looking at it with his evil eyes over your shoulder is just disturbing. You still know it’s a hell of a messed up sci-fi.

        Where are the days of great sci-fi films?… To me, it seems that only Danny Boyle has made an applausible attempt with Sunshine, which I really loved. More talking, less action.

  27. When I saw the first trailer for this movie as I was waiting to watch another movie I actually got goosebumps and thought “I must see this!” Then, as the trailer progressed and it revealed itself to be a Transformers movie I was so disappointed. I wish someone competent would tell a new story about an alternate timeline moon landing, because it could be really good. Then I found out Alan Tudyk was in it and I became really torn.

    The decision to see a movie in the theater is not a light one any more considering the ticket prices, particuarly for 3D, and after reading this review I think I’ll just skip it… but damn what a waste!

  28. Even though I loved this movie, I was just glad that it was better than revenge of the fallen also the effects were beautiful especially the 3-D, I was disapointed by some of the humor that returned from the last movie. However I do think you went alittle overboard in your review about the political parts of it particularly your comments about bush policy and about the soldiers jumping off the destroyed building I think your reasoning there is a bit weak. It was a pretty good review but remember who this movie was targeted towards, teenage boys who just want to see explosions, girls, and immature jokes. It was definately an entertaining movie and I am glad I saw it.

  29. Great!!! Just another person talking about all the politically correct BS!!! Oh! this has no place, that has no place… Before I could let the expletives flying out of my mouth, I stopped reading… Man, with all your “world needs to be THIS way” attitude…

  30. Excellent review, I have not yet seen the film but felt cheated on Revenge of the Fallen, will see it to judge for myself. So far it appears as though most films with 3D are devoid of solid plot or storyline

  31. So you don’t like this movie because you feel like it isn’t liberal enough? Because the military saves the world? Isn’t the military suppose to be good and don’t they go out to fucken battle fields and fight “bad guys”? You see yes you gave avaatr a good review but guess who was the bad guy? The military. 20 bucks if this movie had the military helping the decepticons and fighting autobots you would’ve praised it. And oh its racist? Well how come any movie with a black person/people can have racist joke about white poeple(for example:freedom writers). Your just an anti-military liberal who thinks he’s so much smarter than everyone because he trie to point out all the flaws in a movie…….not! Stfu! I agree the ex-sniper up there saying he wishes he’s trophies are liberals hahah that made me lol if I was him id feel the same way

    • The ex-sniper comment was a joke.

      • So you have nothing else to say to the rest of my comment?

        • Not really no. I’m not gonna sit here and ridicule you for having messed up views, if that’s what you’re hoping for?

          The fact that you agreed with the fake sniper says far more about your flawed point than any words I could muster.

          • U can’t ridicule me because my statemnet is true. How r my views of supporting our military flaws?

          • First of all “our” militaries are different. I’m not American. Secondly, I have no issues whatsoever with the military. I have never said that. Finally, you’re making yourself look dim, simply because you haven’t read through the whole of this comment section. Please do so before commenting again.

          • I’ve read every comment thank u and ok I’m sorry for assuming u were american but this article leaves me to believe u are anti-military the way u say tht” the movie will have patriots cheering in every aisle while the more discern of us look on in embarassment.” and u say its “ulitmate message is of right wing rhetoric where we have to stay or the baddies might get us”. Sounds like u don’t lke the military and right winged people and jst wana know why? Why can there be a movie made by right winged people that actually for once shows the military as good people? Super 8 and avatar and many other movies hve the military as the bad guys which is screwed up so can u jst explain to me why u don’t lke tht this movie will make patriots happy?

          • The claim that you have “read every comment” isn’t true. I’ve brought up my nationality on more than one occasion. Had you “read every comment” then you would have known this.

            I don’t really understand your question to be honest. Can you word it properly? Thanks.

  32. Ok. So I just saw the film today. Naturally, I assumed this movie would be critically panned namely for it being a Bay film, which means we’ll get the “Bay-isms”; loud and over the top action sequences, long running time, seemingly empty characters, and of course the long stares at the sexpot of the film. But guess what? This was a Transformers film. What did you expect? Did we REALLY have to turn this review political? I can hear what you’re saying about the (perceived) racist and gay jokes. Some people are more sensitive to that stuff than others. And if nothing else, you’ve at least given people a heads up for when they go see the movie. But really, your review seems less like an unbiased report on the film and more like a soapbox for you to criticize Bay as a filmmaker, thrust your political opinion on your reader, and to let everyone know that you really hate gay jokes.

    Awesome. So here is what I hate about your review. I think you’ve forgotten who this movie was made for. If you liked the first two films. You’ll love this one. If you like the first Transformers but didn’t like the second, you’ll like this third film. If you hated the first two, then why the heck did you pay $10 to see this one! Not you specifically adambatty. You’re a critic, so I know why you saw this one. This movie was made for the people like me who grew up with the transformers as a kid, ages 20-30. It was made for Saturday morning cartoon watching kids, ages 8-13. It was made for the parents of those kids (hence some of the adult humor, think Shrek), ages 30-45. It was also made for the FX junkies who’s age have no boundary. These are the people who will see and re-see this film. Not because they are pinheads or are ignorant/oblivious. It’s because this movie never lied about who it was for. And it will make a killing in the process.

    Personally, I think this movie improves upon Revenge of the Fallen but falls short of Transformers. The action pieces are great and sometimes amazing. The story was much improved over the previous film. And by that I mean it’s less convoluted. The acting was better. I know, hard right? But the absence of Fox (despite her ease on the eyes) helps this movie. Sam has some real depth this go around. You can feel the connection that some of the human characters have with the Autobots. This movie in my opinion scored better than both films with the humor. No we dont have any pot brownie segments here, but the toned down humor goes a long way. And really? You thought the parents were too involved still? They have two scenes and maybe half of another. That’s it! And they are severely toned down! The addition of the talented supporting actors was huge. Malkovich, Dempsey, McDormand, and Jeong all play their characters with precision and zeal. But as you alluded to in your review, the unsung hero was Nimoy. Brilliant choice there and he pays dividends!

    I truly believe that if you were to have gone in to this movie with an open mind, you may have enjoyed yourself more. Out of 5, this would have been scored a 3.5 for me.
    Let’s be honest, it’s no Citizen Kane. Hell, it’s not even The Dark Knight. But it was fun as heck to watch. And I’ll see it again, next time in 3D.

    Oh, and no Mudflap and Skids???? Lame! Just kidding.

    • Thanks for the lengthy post Ed. Even if we don’t agree on the film!

      Of course my review is an “unbiased report of the movie”, what else would a personal review of the film be? Also, did you not see the bits where I praised the film? The 3D is excellent, and I quite liked the supporting players.

      I know exactly who this film was made for, but thats no excuse for a crappy film. Thor was made for the same audience, and was great. X-Men: First Class was made for the same audience, and that too was excellent. Besides, I actually fit in to one of the age groups you claim the film was made for anyway. I love blockbuster cinema when done well, but this wasn’t blockbuster cinema done well.

  33. I have not yet seen the film myself but it sounds exactly like its predecessors. I was reading others comments about making this apparent political review. All the transformers films use characters to create this dorky humour (something you would expect from a comedy) to achieve this Bay uses stereotypes aka, the twins to achieve this humour however sometimes it can come across as a political viewpoint.

    I agree with the reviewer all the Transformers films are films we enjoy passively watching, that is no direct attack at the films. This is how Bay created it and many enjoy it. For those who enjoy picking at movies this probably won’t be your favourite movie.

    I will probably not enjoy the film as much as others, but i will see it all the same. I have never really enjoyed any of Bay’s films but i will still see it all the same.

  34. Leaving aside any poltical subtexts….the movie is just plain awful. Even the action becomes mind numbing after 20 minutes.

  35. This review was spot on! I saw the movie tonight and still cannot comprehend how bad it was.

    I also LOVE the way you tear into some of the morons and their moronic comments.

    Great review, great blog.

  36. I don’t understand how anyone can say that people who loved the first but hated the second will love the third. I enjoyed the first, and one of the reasons I attributed to the second film’s fall from grace (if you could say the first had grace to begin with) was the Writer’s Strike. Obviously there was no Writer’s Strike this time around, so it is not unreasonable to deduce that the writing may have been better this time around.

    Those of you who say that the people who expected anything more than explosions and action scenes are assholes, I ask you, precisely how much shit did we have to sit through before we got to a good action sequence? I think one of the best points that has been made about this film is that it could have easily been 90 minutes, and exponentially better for it. Start with the moon landing conspiracy, move to Autobots discovering the Arc, then almost straight to betrayal and destruction of chicago! IF it had been just that, and you removed the clunky (and downright shitty) exposition you would have had a basic story, a lot of stunning visuals and some high budget CGI and action to boot. I think any movie that makes you sit through countless scenes (and in this case, over an hour) of utterly pointless exposition and action is unacceptable. I paid for robots blowing up cities and each other (not something that requires brain cells), but instead I got heaps and heaps of whiny protagonists, painful stereotypes, jokes without humor, and god-forbid I mention the lack of character development (then I might sound like one of those terrible critics!)

    All in all, this movie might have been a good ride at an amusement park. The glider scene and the action could have made for a cool 3D amusement park experience for sure. But as a movie, something that is inherently supposed to have a story to it; this fails utterly and completely. Instead it fumbles around hopelessly with half cocked ambition, and expects you to sit through it and wait for the good part to get there. I’m sorry Bay, I paid YOU to see the movie, I don’t want strings attached!

    And the music. Oh the music. The music supervision was embarrassing at best. The leaps and bounds between Jablonsky’s orchestral finesse and the post alternative acoustic rock ballads that SCREAM “I’m a normal guy with normal problems!” were criminal! I had a friend that actually turned to me in one of those scenes and asked if we were actually watching an ABC family film.

    A final parting point. Those of you who support the film because of the 3D spectacle, fighting robots, and tactless humor have a right to do so, because as the reviewer mentioned, those were the most prominent points of the film. Congrats, you got what you were looking for. But DO NOT sit here and claim that there was character development and a fine tuned story arc mere SENTENCES after you have claimed that that was not the point of this movie! That is a null argument, because this film had neither of those things and it is ludicrous to suggest it.

    So there, I’ve chimed in…. let the flaming begin, I suppose. Cheers.

  37. Ah well I’m feeling left out so I’m going to comment, and I just want to be comment number 100…

    In the words of South Park…

    RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!

  38. ” Speaking of noise, it would be a surprise if composer Steve Jablonsky comes out of this without a lawsuit from Hans Zimmer and his Inception score.”

    I agree. Great review btw, kepe up the good work.

  39. A well written review right here! Makes me a laugh the people who try to defend this movie too. The film was a convoluted mess plain and simple!

    Actually one thing that really annoyed me is why the Autobots were intervening in Human affairs. They should really be acting more like mediators than actually helping ahem, the US of A!!!! Nice one Michael!!!

  40. If you insist on being a writer (which I add that you suck at) may I offer you a piece of advise? PEE which means Point, Evidence and Explain. It’s basic. You make a point, you provide evidence and then you explain. And from what I’ve read you lack the ability to explain.

    What was the dorky humour that returned? Care to explain? The dick jokes? Maybe in the last movie. And questioning Dutch’s sexuality? That blatantly shows your immaturity when to most Simmons was clearly revealing Dutch’s bluff.

    You want your robots to be big, bad Americans and if people inject personality then that’s offensive right? What is so wrong about a Scottish-sounding robot using Scottish terms? Everything I suppose right?

    You talk about how the Autobots won’t leave because the Deceptions will return which is essentially – to you – related somehow to Bush’s run as President? I would have thought that it would be common sense for the Autobots to stay I mean it’s not as if they are Earth’s best hope (like in the cartoon) and it’s not as if their home planet can’t sustain life.

    Maybe if you were good at your occupation as a half-wit critic then you’d stop finding meaning in every little gesture and actually watch the film that you’re supposedly watching.

    If you can’t figure out what that last part means then I’m clearly over-estimating your intelligence.

    You’re the kind of idiot who sees Skids and Mudflap and thinks they’re racist and not an accurate representation of “gangsters” or “wagsters”. You’re the kind of idiot who’d agree with another critic I read who thought that the Dreads were racist to Jamaicans just because they had dreadlocks and because they were black. You’re the kind of idiot who would think that Megatron was racist to Africans just because he had a tarp to cover his face and had insecticons repairing his face which you would think were flies.

    So go then delete my comment like you did others or reply saying how I’m wrong when all the points I made are correct.

  41. adambatty_is_a_cool_dude

    July 5, 2012 at 4:17 am

    Great review, big fan of your work. X

Comments are closed.